Too Much Culture

The Avengers: Age of Ultron Trailer Breakdown by a Grandmother

Posted in Uncategorized by tneenan on 10/23/2014

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Marvel have released the first trailer for The Avengers: Age of Ultron, the eleventh movie from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. To help pick apart all the juicy details Too Much Culture presents a trailer breakdown by Julie, 85, from Dover.

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0:09 Where’s that? Looks nice, hot though. I’d love to go somewhere hot, but where there is also lots of shade. But I can’t stand flying so… The man said “I’m going to show you something beautiful” that’s nice. They don’t make films about nice things anymore.

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0:15 Ooh, all that traffic. That’s all I hear now. Beeping from outside, all day its beeping and hollering. Is that what this is, beeping and hollering? That might be for you, but it’s not what I call a film.

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0:25 Oh, is this a Superman? What’s that one where Superman is on the building? No, it’s gone. So Superman’s in this? [When told the character is in fact Thor] Well he looks like Superman, they’re making this confusing on purpose. What’s he holding?

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0:32 Look, he’s done what my son Dale’s done, he’s ordered some of that gym stuff from the catalogue and he’s not used it. Just stuck it in the corner. There’s a rowing machine in Dale’s spare room, he’s never going to use it, is he? And charity won’t take it, too old. His son, my grandson Hugh, he does the gym.

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0:41 He’s broken his friend’s head. What’s he done that for? Breaking the Tin Man’s [sic] head. You know what they should make a film about? That policeman what saved that dog from that building in Croydon when it collapsed. Imagine that, it’d be sad when you thought the dog was gone under all the rubble. But then he’d find it and you’d be delighted. Someone should do that.

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0:53 … Or that woman who was a singer on the cruise ships for ages, but she was brilliant, but she wasn’t famous. And then one day this theatre man goes on the cruise, and he hears her and he starts crying because her voice is that good. And he snaps her up and puts her in the theatre shows. They should do that, not all this explosions and mess.

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0:58 Well that’s bad for a start. Kiddies will copy that, going out in the snow, no vest on. And all the kids are getting colds and nobody knows why, and I’ll be saying, its that Ravagers film, that’s what’s done it.

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1:10 This may, what? People don’t finish sentences anymore.

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1:14 I bought Hugh a lovely shirt like that. But does he wear it? What do you think? He still wears a t-shirt with a skull on it. Horrible.

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1:36 Oh that’s nice. Lovely. Ballet. this film should be some ballet. Its a real skill, they work so hard. They had some ballet thing over at the community centre. Didn’t go though.

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1:42 Dale’s got a car like that. Doesn’t drive it like that though, is Superman going to catch it? Hugh does his BMX or something.

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1:48 Lovely stall of fruit and they just break it. See this is what I mean, its all mess. Mess and hollering.

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Julie turns over to Springwatch I used to love gardening. Hugh comes round and mows the lawn, keeps it nice. He’s good like that. He’d like these Ultra Space Rangers.

The Avengers: Age of Ultron explodes into cinemas May 2015.

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